“Ode to Buttoning and Unbuttoning My Shirt” by Ross Gay
No one knew or at least
I didn’t know
they knew
what the thin disks
threaded here
on my shirt
might give me
in terms of joy
this is not something to be taken lightly
the gift
of buttoning one’s shirt
slowly
top to bottom
or bottom
to top or sometimes
the buttons
will be on the other
side and
I am a woman
that morning
slipping the glass
through its slot
I tread
differently that day
or some of it
anyway
my conversations
are different
and the car bomb slicing the air
and the people in it
for a quarter mile
and the honeybee’s
legs furred with pollen
mean another
thing to me
than on the other days
which too have
been drizzled in this
simplest of joys
in this world
of spaceships and subatomic
this and that
two maybe three
times a day
some days
I have the distinct pleasure
of slowly untethering
the one side
from the other
which is like unbuckling
a stack of vertebrae
with delicacy
for I must only use
the tips
of my fingers
with which I will
one day close
my mother’s eyes
this is as delicate
as we can be
in this life
practicing
like this
giving the raft of our hands
to the clumsy spider
and blowing soft until she
lifts her damp heft and
crawls off
we practice like this
pushing the seed into the earth
like this first
in the morning
then at night
we practice
sliding the bones home.
I feel the importance of giving the small things in life the respect they deserve.
By being mindful and respecting the seriousness of everyday situations we train ourselves to do the same when tragedy hits, or when something amazing happens.
When trained and prepared to face things like loss or death, we can be more present when it knocks on our door. We can give it the respect and praise it deserves when it’s not the first time we grapple with concepts like death for example.
There’s nothing respectful or intrinsically good in being so devastated by the loss of a close one to the extent that the devastation in you overshadows the life that now is no more.
I want to “practice like this”, and by facing life in this way, I also create a new appreciation for my daily experiences.